"School's out for summer...

...School's out forever."

It’s the end of yet another blessed year at Burnham Grammar and shockingly, my life is still what one would refer to as in the shitter. I may be going into year ten now but I can't help but feel like schooling is the least of my problems.

Throughout years seven and eight i built myself a reputation, one that said 'I don't care what you say about me because I can take anything.' simply because I thought I was bad and could take on the world if i wanted but the entire year i have found myself regretting that one.
The boys - naming no names - have been throwing constant insults my way all year at school and then i get home and get the same reception from my brother, his friends and just random people.
Yes, I’m a sixteenth German but that hardly makes me Hitler - one of the many insults thrown at me throughout the year amongst lesbian, man and several others.
I honestly just want to break down and cry but what would that achieve? They would think that they had broken me and then the insults would just worsen.

You see that girl, yeah her.
She seems so invincible right.
But just touch her & she'll wince.
She has secrets & she trusts no one.
She’s the perfect example of betrayal.
Cause everyone she trusted, broke her.

People see that quote everywhere they go and it just seems so relevant.
I do keep secrets from everyone, I spin little lies and i feel betrayed by pretty much everyone i did trust.
Well, I’ve now spilled my failure of a life onto the internet in the hopes that i would feel better for getting it off of my chest, and you know what? I feel exactly the crappy same.
Six weeks of pure brotherly insults.

See you guys again next year if I haven't goddamned killed someone by then, myself or some other.

Zoe.